For many, the holiday season is a time of celebration, connection, and joy. It’s a season marked by family gatherings, festive meals, and giving. But for others, the holidays can feel more like a whirlwind of stress, pressure, and emotional fatigue. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or disconnected during the holidays, you're not alone. This morning I noticed that my Christmas eye twitch is back to which my husband jokingly said was the official start of the holiday season. We're both feeling pressure with long to-do lists, gatherings and kid's performances and activities. I want to share some insights and strategies that can help you (any myself) navigate the holiday season with more balance and self-compassion.
First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge that the holidays can bring up a wide range of emotions, and it's okay not to feel cheerful all the time. The festive season often carries a heavy weight of expectations—expectations about how we should feel, how we should act, and how we should present ourselves to the world. It’s easy to forget that everyone has their own unique experience of the holidays, and emotions like grief, loneliness, anxiety, or stress are just as valid as the more conventional feelings of joy and excitement. Allowing yourself to acknowledge and honor these emotions, without judgment, can be the first step toward creating a healthier relationship with the holidays.
By raising our awareness to our feelings without shame or judgement we can then reassess the expectations you have for yourself during this season. The pressure to be everywhere, do everything, and please everyone can quickly become overwhelming. If you’re like many people, you might feel compelled to make the perfect holiday meal, buy the perfect gifts, or attend every party you’re invited to. But trying to meet these expectations can lead to burnout. Instead, give yourself permission to set realistic goals for the season. Focus on what matters most to you, whether that’s spending quality time with family, honoring a meaningful tradition, or simply finding moments of rest. The holidays don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t need to do it all.
Part of managing your mental health during the holidays also involves setting boundaries. This can be especially important if you’re spending time with family, as family dynamics can sometimes trigger difficult emotions. Setting clear boundaries doesn’t mean you love your family any less—it simply means you’re protecting your own well-being. Maybe it’s taking a break during a busy family gathering to recharge, or politely excusing yourself from a conversation that feels emotionally draining. Or perhaps it's saying “no” to an event that doesn’t align with your needs or values. Boundaries are an essential tool for maintaining your mental and emotional health, and they are a form of self-care that should never be underestimated.
Staying connected with others is another important piece of the puzzle. The holiday season can often amplify feelings of isolation, especially if you're dealing with loss, living far from loved ones, or simply struggling with the demands of the season. If you find yourself feeling lonely, reach out to your support network, whether that’s friends, colleagues, or a mental health professional. Virtual hangouts, regular check-ins, or even small acts of kindness like sending a thoughtful message can help remind you that you’re not alone. Therapy is another useful tool during this time as therapy can offer a safe space for you to process your emotions, work through difficult experiences, and develop coping strategies for the season.
Amidst the busy holiday schedule, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. But self-care is not just a luxury—it’s essential to maintaining your mental health. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; small, consistent acts of self-care can have a profound impact. Make time for regular exercise, even if it’s just a short walk each day. Find moments to practice mindfulness, whether that’s through deep breathing, meditation, or simply pausing for a few minutes of quiet reflection. Prioritize sleep, aim to stay rested, and nourish your body with balanced meals to sustain your energy levels. I often say that self-care is doing the thing that you don't want to do – it may mean working out, saying no, cleaning up or setting boundaries. Just balance those kinds of self-care with cozy or nurturing self-care.
The holidays often come with a social calendar packed with events, family gatherings, and gift exchanges, and it can be hard to turn things down when there’s pressure to attend everything. But saying “no” when something doesn’t serve you is a powerful act of self-care. Whether you’re declining an invitation to a party, choosing to skip a gift exchange, or simply staying home for a quiet evening, giving yourself permission to say no frees you from the guilt and stress of overcommitting. You are in control of how you spend your time and energy.
Finally, if you’re finding that the holidays are triggering difficult emotions, past trauma, or deep anxiety, it might be helpful to create new traditions that better support your mental health. This could mean honoring old traditions in a new way, like spending the holidays in a quieter setting or focusing on gratitude instead of material gifts. Volunteering or donating to a cause close to your heart might also provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment during this season. The holidays don’t have to follow a specific script— shake up the etch-a-sketch (or perhaps the Christmas snow globe) to let go of ideals and lean into what is. Allow yourself to create new experiences that align with your current needs and values.
The holidays can be challenging, but they can also be an opportunity for healing and growth. By acknowledging your emotions, setting healthy boundaries, staying connected with loved ones, and prioritizing self-care, you can make this season a time of greater peace and balance.
As you enter this holiday season, I wish you moments of rest, connection, and joy, no matter how big or small. Take care of yourself, and remember that your mental health matters, now and always.
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