"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, “Mistral’s Kiss”
October is National Depression Awareness Month. As a therapist there are certain times of the year that creep up on people and we see an uptick in different mental health struggles. October is one of those months. I attribute it to shorter daylight hours, a shift in social engagements and the rising awareness of the coming holidays and closing of another year. Let's unpack some more specifics about depression...
Depression is more than just feeling sad or having a bad day and it's also not something that “toxic positivity” can cure. It's more than just needing to exercise and watch the sunrise. It's a complex condition that affects millions of people world-wide. Depression doesn't discriminate, it can effect all ages, races and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Depression can stem from difficult life experiences and circumstances, chemical imbalances in the brain or family genetics. Depression can also coexist with other mental health conditions such as Anxiety or PTSD.
Some common symptoms of depression include excessive sadness or feeling numb, low motivation and productivity, difficulty getting out of bed, low energy, isolation, sleep disturbance, disordered eating patterns and brain fog.
One common misconception is that we should feel “happy” all the time. Don't confuse elation with happiness and contentment. I often view happiness as a scale. 10 would be the kind of excitement and happiness that we might feel on Christmas morning or on a vacation. An 8 would be a general feeling of contentment and a 5-6 would be having kind of a “mid” type of day. Symptoms of depression start to emerge around 4 and below. If we think that we're supposed to be at a 10 every day we're going to fall short and fall into problematic thinking that our life isn't as fulfilling and exciting as other people's. If we shoot to be in the 7-9 range on most days then we're doing a good job! If you find yourself on the lower end of that range ask yourself what you can do to get one step higher that day. If you would score yourself at a 2, don't try and get up to an 8 or a 9. Ask yourself what you can do for yourself to get to a 3 and do that thing even if you don't feel like it and then celebrate the win of going up one number.
Other things that help with depression are sticking to a routine, reaching out to a friend or trusted family member (even if your brain tells you not to!), mindfulness practices, medication and deeper therapy work to undo negative core beliefs.
Seeking help for depression is never a sign of weakness, it's really no different than seeking medical help for a broken bone or a long term illness. If you were diabetic you would need to take insulin, eat the right things and attend regular doctor appointments. When you struggle with depression you need to take care of yourself with routines, coping skills, therapy and sometimes medication. We all need to work together to fight stigma against getting help.
I often remind my clients that healing is not linear. There will be ups and downs and often people view the downs as a “regression”. Think of it like a bar graph, there may be dips but still a trend upward, never backward. We learn to celebrate and relish the good and navigate the bad until it dissipates.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression here are some other great resources to utilize:
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
The National Alliance on Mental Health
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
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